My Normal is Your Fantasy
by ChickenDeNoodleyNoodleIII
Summary: Naruto, the owner of a backwoods inn, has led a somewhat normal life... as normal as a man can lead when you can see ghosts. Now, as people come into his inn, they discover that the workers aren't exactly normal, and that the inn itself is haunted.


Hey! I know exactly what you're thinking, and it has nothing to do with fluffy pink dreams with rainbows and princesses! You are all thinking (deep gruff British accent) "Bloo'y 'ell! 'e's startin' another story, an' he ain't e'en finished wit' the others!" or maybe something along those lines.

**I know, I know. But I really wanted to right this! I just got finished reading the Pet Shop of Horrors manga (which was freakin' awesome, by the way) and so was somewhat inspired to write this! Except this is somewhat less twisted and doesn't teach you a moral lesson about humanity with each chapter.**

**I also just wanted to write a Naruto fic with fairies and elves and whatnot, so I started slapping this together. It was fun, nonetheless. And yes, this is an AU set in the modern world… sorta.**

**Anyway, I'll stop stalling and let you get on with the reading.**

**COMMENCING THE FANFIC!!

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Naruto, the owner of a small backcountry inn in the middle of nowhere (fifteen miles at least in any direction to the next town or city), led a somewhat normal life…

As normal a life one can live when the inn you owned was haunted. And they weren't just ghosts that called the place "home", but other little creatures too. Though… some of those "little" creatures weren't so little either.

He'd been able to see them since he could remember, just after his second birthday or so. His first playmate had been a wide-eyed little fairy, who had been hardly bigger than his wee toddler self.

After about of year of fun with his little fairy friend, his mother had stumbled upon the two playing in the backyard, and promptly screamed, claiming that it was a demon. She even threw holy water on it, which apparently was the equivalent of acid, at least to the fey. His wide-eyed friend promptly became a wide-eyed, sharp-toothed monster at his mother's attack, and attempted to defend itself by killing her.

"Attempted" is used because, before it could strike back, it was beaten down by a large cross, the one that Naruto's mother used as a porch decoration. Naruto was forever scarred at seeing his first friend being killed so brutally and bursting into flames. Crying, he had ran terrified into his father's arms, screaming that his mommy was a murderer. His father, confused, went out to see what the small child was talking about.

Now, walking out your back porch and seeing a partially smoldering, twitching, and rather flat corpse on your yard is not usually something you'd normally expect to see, but Uzumaki Arashi took it all in stride, carrying the traumatized boy over to his panting mother, who was saying prayer over on the porch swing.

Naruto couldn't remember what had been exchanged, but he could clearly remember his father talking in a stern, yet soothing tone to his mother, who had been nearly hysterical in her response.

He tended to keep his fairy friends away from his mother after that.

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Naruto was broken from his musings by the jingling of the front door being opened. He could see an older man in a business-suit step through, followed by what appeared to be a worried servant of some kind, carrying several large bags and two briefcases with her. The man watched disapprovingly as the girl tripped over the threshold of the door, dropping the bags and knocking open one of the briefcases, spilling several important looking documents.

The man moved the bags away from the girl, seemingly disgusted about having to do manual labor of any sort as the girl picked up the papers. Naruto was disgusted himself, disgusted at the man's attitude towards his helper, who seemed on the verge of panic as she attempted to pick up the scattered papers, one of which kept just outside her grasp, seeming to blow away just as she was about to grab it.

After what seemed to be an hour, but was really only a few minutes, the girl finally chased the paper down and caught it, putting it neatly back in the briefcase. The businessman sighed, walking up to the front desk as the girl went and grabbed the bags pushed against the wall. The man waited until the girl had gathered everything and was standing behind before he spoke.

"I would like two of your best rooms, and I'll be staying here for several days." The man said, stingily. Naruto did not like the tone of the man's voice. That "I am better than you, you piece of trash" tone of voice that always seemed to accompany people of money. Naruto thought he recognized those pale-white eyes from somewhere, but couldn't quite place it.

"Of course." Naruto said, putting on his practiced fake smile as he looked underneath the counter, searching for the keys to the two rooms next to the hallway leading down to the hot springs. Those were the closest his little inn had to suites, and they were the biggest and cleanest. He almost felt the urge to give him the keys to _that_ room in the back… but then _he_ wouldn't be happy, especially since it would be a stranger occupying that room, and a human nonetheless.

"Would you like help with those bags, ma'am?" Naruto asked politely, handing over the keys to rooms 17 and 18 to the grouchy businessman. The girl blushed, nodding rapidly as she attempted to balance everything in her arms. The businessman huffed indignantly.

"That incompetent needs all the help she can get!" He said bitterly, making the girl hang her head in shame at his words. Sighing with irritation at the businessman's attitude, Naruto put his fingers in between his lips and let out a shrill whistle.

"Icharus! Baggage!" Naruto yelled loudly, settling back and waiting. The grouchy businessman glared at him, and the clumsy secretary/slave girl just looked at him quizzically. The two were distracted by a sudden sound from behind the double doors by the counter.

The poor unfortunate servant, who was standing closest to the doors, was bowled over by the sudden explosion of the doors slamming outwards, sending bags and briefcases everywhere. When the proverbial dust settled, everyone's attention was focused upon the man standing in the doorway.

He was a handsome man, tall and slender, dressed in fine looking clothes and shoes. The man had short auburn hair, cropped just above his jaw line, except for two little bangs, which fell down just about to his shoulders. Those bangs outlined the most beautiful pair of deep, forest green eyes that the secretary girl had ever seen. A shift of his head towards her direction brought her attention to a pair of small ears, which tapered to a light point that poked out of his hair. His devilish grin was aimed at her as he reached out a ruffle-cuffed hand to help her stand up.

Naruto watched as the fey man pulled the girl up, and giving a polite bow while kissing her hand, probably muttering something about "_unbelievable beauty_" or some sort of romantic-sounding junk… stupid idiot was such a playboy.

"Iggy, baggage now, flirting later!" He shouted at the elf, making the fey man glare at him for using that horrid nickname to address him. Naruto pointed his finger sharply at the pile of luggage lying on the floor. Icharus huffed indignantly, gently dropping the secretary's hand to occupy his own with the businessman's bags. The girl, blushing, thanked him, gathering up the two remaining bags and suitcases left still on the floor. After a nod of Icharus' head to follow him, the three left down the hallway.

When the trio arrived at the prescribed rooms, Icharus set the baggage down between the two doorways, turning around to face their soon-to-be occupants.

"Alright, let me lay down a couple of rules that should _never_ be broken unless in extreme emergency or foolishness." He waited for the two to nod in affirmation that they were listening."

"Rule Number One: Never, _never_ leave your rooms after ten thirty-four at night! And before you ask questions, it's because we have a permanent tenant who walks the halls at that time, and he isn't very… sociable, you could say. We also have some grumpy night janitors who like playing pranks. Curfew ends at four thirty-three AM, so don't leave your room before then, either. IF(!) you are outside your rooms at that time and have no simple or quick means to make it back, please speak to one of our less-than-friendly janitors, the other employees, and myself or Naruto-sama to guide you back.

"Rule Number Two: If, while exploring the gardens in the back of our humble hotel, you stumble across a picket-fenced area, _do not cross it or open its gate!_ This I shall not explain, and do not attempt to find out what would happen if crossed it.

"Rule Number Three: If at any time, you see something… strange or extraordinary, please report it to Naruto-sama or myself. These are usually just employees playing pranks (particularly those damn night janitors!) or the permanent tenant… making a complaint. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR ROOM AT NIGHT!!!"

The businessman and his secretary stared at the strange man as he spun around and began to walk away. Sneering at his back, the businessman took his key and turned to open the door to his room, just as Icharus threw a glance over his shoulder as he walked.

"Oh, and just a warning or two… if at anytime, you see a perverted old man lurking in your window, or hear mischievous giggling, call front desk and ask for Tsunade. She'll solve your problem.

"And if for whatever reason your encounter our tenant…" He added cryptically, stopping in his tracks.

"Be afraid."

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**So did you enjoy it?**

**You better have! And also, you'll see me use inn and hotel interchangeably, and it's not actually small, it's about medium-sized.**

**Anyway, hoped you liked it. I'm purposely keeping the chapters short, by the way.**

**And I might come back and do some remodeling on this chapter.**

**Sincerely hoping for your reviews,**

**ChickenDeNoodleyNoodle the Third**


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